


What if when he holds me, my heart is set in motion?

by karxmels



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, KaraMel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-01-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:55:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22483726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karxmels/pseuds/karxmels
Summary: Kara has a new boyfriend, she's finally happy after a long time. He’s everything she’s been asking for, but she realized all she really wanted was to be able to feel the physical touch as she did when a certain Daxamite was her boyfriend.Karamel one-shot.
Relationships: Alex Danvers/Kelly Olsen, Kara Danvers & Mon-El, Kara Danvers/Mon-El, Lar Gand | Mon-El | Valor/Kara Zor-El
Comments: 20
Kudos: 60





	What if when he holds me, my heart is set in motion?

**Author's Note:**

> I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING AGAINST WILLIAM AND I ABSOLUTELY LOVE STAZ! I want Kara to be happy regardless of who she dates. Please be nice, I appreciate the feedback!

She was happy. After a long, long time, she finally felt content. Her family was better than ever, no unnecessary drama, no major crisis to take care of...

Her professional life was flowing greatly as well. After being awarded with a Pulitzer, she felt a consistent rush of giddy happiness due to being nationally recognized by her work and effort.

Love life wise... she was good. Great even. She never felt she would be able to date again, not considering who she was and the responsibility she bore regarding those close to her. However, life was never predictable, and brought her a cute, British, reporter boyfriend.

She felt the excitement of beginning a new relationship take place in her body. She was happy. She smiled more often, giggled more often, and she had someone whom she could talk to, get advice from and simply share some of life's daily experiences.

In spite of all of that, she still missed being _truly_ touched. Feeling a strong hand grip hers. Being able to embrace someone with all her strength when said someone had been missed, or being tightly embraced by someone when she felt distressed. Someone. _Him._

She moved on. She did, but there were certain moments that she'd forever miss, and never forget. Sensations that she was sure she wouldn't feel with anyone else, and towards anyone else. It was simply impossible.

She loved the way her stomach would jump with anticipation, and her cheeks would burn with flattery. But _real, physical_ touch? She barely felt. She wished she could, but she was trying to make peace with the fact that she never would. She would always be worrying about control. Don't squeeze his hand too hard, don't hug him too fiercely, bear control over your excitement, and Rao forbid, _do not break his nose._ He still didn't know who she really was, so she had to be extra careful.

Frustrations aside, she really did like him, and was thrilled to have him in her life.

**.**

"Alex! Anything I can help with?" Kara asked as she flew through the DEO balcony.

"Surprisingly, not really. Dreamer is taking care of some silly thieves but that's about all..." her sister replied. "How are you? We haven't had much time to catch up..."

"I've been good. Catco is great, superheroing is great, things with William are... good." Kara hesitated.

"Hmm. You don't seem so sure though," Alex noted.

"Agh... it's just... since he doesn't know who I am, I have to keep reminding myself to change my posture around him when I'm Supergirl and that's... it's tough," the blonde told. It wasn't the whole truth, but it would do.

"I'm sure you'll be fine. If this whole thing lasts you're gonna be able to tell him about you and everything will be easier." Alex smiled, rubbing Kara's shoulder.

"You're right. Thank you, Alex."

"Don't mention it," the redhead replied.

"And what about you Alex? How have you been?" Kara questioned. They both leaned against the handrail, observing the people working below them.

"Good. It's nice to have some peace around here every once in a while," Alex responded.

"And how's Kelly?" Kara smirked, making Alex blush slightly.

"Great! She's... incredible. And I'm surprised about how well things are going between us. We kinda just... click, you know?"

"Well... maybe you're just... made for each other. I'm so glad to see you this happy Alex." Kara smiled, truthfully.

"Me too. I'm happy for us both," said Alex. "Speaking of your boyfriend, he's here. He said he wanted to work on an article about the DEO," she whispered.

"Ah. Okay thank you," said Kara. They continued side by side, watching the movement in a comfortable silence for a few minutes.

"Supergirl!" a voice called from the hallway. "Busy day?"

"Hey William. Actually no, it's quite lazy." She smiled, shaking his hand. Her gaze fell to the ground, after she was reminded of how she couldn't feel most of his touches. It wouldn't be a big deal if he was a friend, but she wanted to feel something from her romantic partner. She recomposed herself and grinned again.

Suddenly, her hyper sensitive ears picked up something that sounded like someone flying towards the building. It startled her, after all, there had been a long time since they had another flying alien besides her and J'onn around.

A gush of wind was heard from the window, and soon a familiar red and blue figure showed up. Kara brought her hands to her mouth, recognizing that man. The one she had been thinking about so much.

"Mon-El," she whispered, and flew to his arms as hastily as she could. Burying her face in his neck, feeling the tears come to her eyes, inhaling his wonderful scent, squeezing him as tightly as she could, _finally._ And then she felt it. Felt his arms reciprocating her hug, enveloping her in the tightest embrace. One that she could truly feel, and woke every inch of her skin that had been touch starved for years. She let out a shaky breath. She had missed that _so much._

"Hi," he said as he released her.

"Hey," she replied, grinning radiantly. Mon-El looked around and spotted Alex, and quickly went greet her as well. After a briefer hug, he looked around and saw a new face and extended his arm to shake his hand.

"Mon-El," he introduced himself, with a warm smile.

"He's a great friend of ours. From the Legion of Superheroes," Kara stated proudly. "Mon-El, this is William. A reporter at Catco. He's Kara's... friend."

"Boyfriend actually!" William corrected. Kara squeezed her eyes shut. Mon-El had his mouth open, looking surprised. He was disappointed, of course, but he quickly shrugged it off and beamed once more. Kara deserved to be happy.

"Well, it's a pleasure," said Mon-El, kindly.

"The pleasure is mine," the other man responded.

Kara opened her mouth and shut a couple of times. She wanted the floor to swallow her whole.

"Mon-El, can I talk to you? Privately," she asked.

"S-ure," he answered. Kara led him to a training room, and after being assured that they were alone, she moved to speak.

"Mon-"

"Kara I'm so sorry," he cut her off, grabbing her hands. "I seem to find the worst times to show up." He looked down, still holding her in place. "I was coming back and staying for good, but I don't want to mess with your life again," he continued, raising his gaze and looking deeply into her eyes. "All I want is for you to be happy. And- and if you feel like me being here will be confusing or... or uncomfortable, I'll leave. Just- it's your choice Kara," he stuttered, squeezing her hands gently. She couldn't help from closing her eyes at the feeling.

"No, Mon-El. I want you to stay," she whispered, releasing his hands, eyes watering up. "I've missed you so much. And I don't think it'll be a problem with William. I mean, we're adults, right? We can deal with this maturely."

"Yeah, you're right." He smiled, dimples showing. "I missed you too." His warm, happy energy was contagious, and she was mesmerized by it.

"Plus, uh- there's something else..." she remarked.

"What?" he questioned, eyebrows furrowing.

"I've been... humm... touch starved... for years now." She looked down, blushing embarrassed. His frown only increased

"What- what do you mean? William doesn't- he doesn't touch you?" Mon-el inquired, confused. Her eyes widened, almost bulging out of her face.

"No!" she whispered-yelled, laughing nervously. "I mean, he does! It's just, I barely feel it," she stammered, clarifying. "Perks of having superstrengh and invulnerability, I guess."

"Oh." His face relaxed visibly. "Yeah that makes more sense." Kara chuckled.

"I guess what I'm saying is... I could really use some proper hugs every now and then."

"Of course," he agreed, smiling once more.

"Besides, this, right here, is your place. Your time. You are family, Mon-El. We all missed you."

"Come here," he said, opening his arms for her. She hugged him like she wished she could've done for a long time. Closing her eyes and simply enjoying the moment. She couldn't stop the few tears sliding down her face though.

Hearing her sniffing, Mon-El slowly moved away, worried.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine." She wiped the tears. "I'll be fine. I just... I hate having to control myself all the time. I almost hurt him twice. I can never completely let go with him... do you think I'm being selfish?"

"Not at all." He reached to wipe a new tear rolling along her cheek. "Only those who have witnessed the absence of touch truly cherish it, and know how much of a privilege it is to feel it all the time." She closed her eyes, feeling his hand caress her face. "You are capable of so many things, Kara. Even the impossible. I have no doubt that you'll be able to make the 'controlling yourself' part more natural. You just have to think whether that's really what you want."

"I will." She exhaled, and smiled despite the tears she had just shared. "Thank you. So so so much."

**.**

_"Hey babe."_

"Hi! I'm here at Noonan's. You're meeting me for lunch, right?"

_"Yeah, I'm already heading there."_

"Great. There's someone I want you to meet."

_"Ah nice! Alright, see you soon."_

"Bye!" Kara hung up. "Hey Mon, I know you already met him, but I want him to meet Mike... and I really want you guys to get along..." She smiled shyly.

"Yeah, sure!" he replied. The front door was opened and Kara's boyfriend stepped in.

"Hey!" she greeted, grinning.

"Hi baby." William pecked her on the lips chastely. Mon-El did his best to hide the squeezing inside his chest and keep his smile. "Hey there!" They shook hands.

"Will, this is Mike, a great friend of mine who had to move away a few years ago but just came back!" Her grin managed to widen even more as she stared at the said old "friend". "Mike, this is William, my boyfriend."

"Pleasure." He nodded, as they all took their seats at the table.

The three of them chatted pleasantly, both men getting to know each other and sharing their fondness towards a certain blonde with glasses. Kara couldn't help but observe both men talk, as she quietly took all their features in. Her heart ached for some reason, but she chose to let it go.

At some point close to the end of their lunch, Kara got overly excited about one of their subjects, and squeezed William's hand a little too tight.

"Ouch." He breathed, stroking his thumb.

"Oh my god! Are you okay?" She brought her hands to her mouth. "I'm so sorry!"

"I'm fine. It's probably just a sprain, not that unusual," he responded, but his suspicion mixed with confusion were unmistakable. "Although I loved meeting with you guys, I'm gonna need to head out and check this up," he uttered, pointing to his thumb. "Thank you for the lovely meal."

"It was our pleasure," Mon-El replied for both him and a speechless Kara.

Once William was out, Kara closed her eyes and failed to hold the tears back.

"Hey," said Mon-El, reaching for her hand on the table. "He'll be okay. Everything will be okay."

"I need to tell him," Kara voiced, staring blankly frontwards. Mon-El sighed.

"I'm here for you."

  
**.**

Kara nervously jogged towards the door when she heard the knock. She opened it, hesitantly, and greeted her partner with a weak smile.

"Hi... thank you for coming," she said, gesturing for him to enter. Once he did so, she closed the door and walked behind him through the loft.

"Yeah sure..." he replied, passing his hand through his hair in an attempt to break the discomfort.

"Will... I'm sorry about today," Kara started. Looking at his hand that was involved in a white fabric bandage. He stared at her, trying to figure out her next words. "The reason I called you here is... I need to tell you something. About me." She looked into his eyes, wanting to know what he was thinking.

"Okay... go ahead," the man encouraged.

"All my life, I've had to live hidden. I've had to hide basically everything, from everyone. I've had to learn how to control myself, so that I wouldn't cause a major damage, or hurt people close to me," she explained, slowly.

"I'm not sure I'm following," said William, confused. Kara looked at the ground, biting her lip, gathering her thoughts to find a way to continue. She looked back at him, blue eyes watering up. _Just rip the bandage off. If you do it quickly it'll hurt less,_ she thought. She proceeded to remove her glasses from her face. William seemed confused, trying to remember who she reminded him of.

"I'm Supergirl," she stated, firmly. She kept watching him, hoping he would react well. "I have multiple powers. My day-to-day life is balancing work at Catco with saving the world. I'm super strong, which means I have to control myself when I'm around humans, specially my inner circle, since they are the ones who act more affectionately toward me. And even more importantly, when I'm around... a romantic partner. Because that means... a lot more touching. You have no idea how many noses I broke from trying to kiss people." She chuckled, but William remained speechless. Kara took his silence as a sign for her to continue. "Unfortunately, that also means I barely feel human touch. It's so light to me that it's almost as if it weren't there. That makes it a lot harder to control."

William stared at her face as if he'd seen a ghost. Kara nervously chewed on her lower lip, waiting for a response.

"Please, say something," she pleaded. The man blinked a few times, shaking his head.

"I'm sorry. I just... wasn't expecting this," he finally said. "I understand why you didn't tell me right away, I do, really." Kara let out a breath she was holding.

"You have no idea how relieved I am to hear this," she said.

"I have one question though," William stated.

"Ask away," Kara replied, smiling relieved.

"Everything you told me... about touching, controlling yourself... it must be really frustrating, specially not to feel anything really. Isn't it?" Kara looked down.

"It is. It really is," she admitted. William then realized something he had missed.

"Wait. So then, if you're Supergirl, that guy I met... the one who had moved away is-"

"Mike is Mon-El, the man you met before all this, at the DEO," Kara explained, the previous worry threatening to return.

"Right, the one with the red suit." He scratched his face. "You two seemed pretty close. There was something else between you two, wasn't there?"

"Mon-El and I... used to date. He was a Daxamite." William raised his brows at that. "So he had to leave when the atmosphere became toxic to him. He ended up in the future, there were some other complications the year later, and now he's here," she finished.

"And you still love him," William affirmed, unquestioningly.

"What?! No, I-"

"Kara, I'm not blind. I saw the way you hugged him when he came back. The way you looked at him during our lunch. He loves you too, you know?"

"He doesn't- he- I-"

"He stares at you like you're his world. Like you're the only thing he sees. And the fact that he agreed to come to lunch with your current boyfriend to make you happy says a lot," he finished. Kara sighed, defeated.

"I'm sorry. I... I wasn't expecting this either." Kara didn't know what else to say.

"Look, I don't think you should be with someone who can't make you feel everything you want to and deserve to feel. Plus, I don't want to be with someone who is in love with another man," said William.

"It's okay... I understand," Kara replied. They both looked at each other, silence engulfing them.

"It's a shame though. We made a pretty a good team," voiced William, smiling sheepishly.

"We did, didn't we?" Kara replied, chuckling, they smiled at each other some more. "I hope we can still be friends. And partners in journalism."

"I wouldn't want it any other way," he replied, chuckling. "Come here," he invited her for a hug. After they pulled away, William headed towards the door and Kara accompanied him silently.

"See ya tomorrow then," the brunette man said.

"Uh huh." Kara smiled, leaning against the door frame.

"And hey, Kara?" he called.

"Yeah?"

"Go get your man, I wouldn't make him wait too long." He winked, and left right after, leaving a speechless Kara behind.

**.**

  
Kara swayed nervously side to side as she waited at the door. That was it. It was her chance. She couldn't mess that up.

The door opened, revealing a disheveled Mon-El. _Adorable._

"Kara! I wasn't expecting you here, come in." He moved away for her to enter. As she stepped inside, she came across a plain apartment, barely furnished, with few boxes opened and scattered across the room. Kara could see the apartment had two other rooms and one bathroom, and it was beautifully illuminated by the night's light. There was a really nice atmosphere surrounding them.

"I haven't had time to search for furniture yet," he explained, noticing how she looked around. "Just a few things J'onn kept from the first time I landed here, and a bed I managed to buy since I had to have somewhere to sleep." They both chuckled.

"I kept your stuff too," Kara blurted out, looking into his eyes.

"Really?" He turned to her, surprised, yet hopeful.

"Yeah. I couldn't bring myself to throw it all away."

"Wow. That's- uh... thank you, really." Kara only nodded. She bit her lip and looked up, searching for his eyes.

"William broke up with me," she stated, shortly.

"What?" His gaze softened as he focused on her.

"I told him I was Supergirl too. But that wasn't- he didn't break up with me because of that."

"Why did he, then?" he asked, worried.

"He said I shouldn't be with someone who couldn't make me feel what I want to feel," she started.

"Right."

"And he said... he said I was... I was still in love with you," she breathed out, anxiously.

"But you're not, are you?" Mon-El said, frowning. Kara shifted here gaze from his left eye, to his right eye, to his mouth, to his face. He looked... he looked like the man she fell in love with. It had happened so many years before and yet, she couldn't stop the butterflies in her stomach. She stared at that tall, strong, determined, _beautiful_ man in front of her, and couldn't bring herself to deny it.

"I think I am," she confessed. "I love you, Mon-El of Daxam." She let her arms fall to her sides, exasperatedly. She was welling up, for the Rao knows what time in that couple of days. "You have this... this way of crash landing into my life, and then taking my heart with you." She took a step toward him. "Now you're here, and I don't want to throw this away again. I want you, Mon-El. I need you."

Mon-El took the final steps so that they were inches away from each other. He took her hands, caressing them in that way that only him could, that gesture that always made her feel safe and wanted.

"I love you, Kara Zor-El," he affirmed, his blue-grey eyes piercing hers intensely. He moved his hands to hold her face, staring at it, trying to memorize every feature.

Kara let out a shaky breath. She looked up to watch how his gaze moved to her lips. All she wanted was to feel the familiar pressure against them once more. His velvet lips sucking on hers gently (or not), and waking her senses after so long.

After all the staring, Mon-El finally lowered his head, and, giving her time to back away, he trapped her lips softly between his. She kissed him back, loving how she could feel every single sensation. She moved her hands to his shoulders, wanting to feel more of him. She let a tear slide down her cheek. He released her lips and they pulled away just enough to look at each other's eyes.

"It's so good to feel things again," she whispered breathily, letting out a chuckle. He smiled dumbly, pecked her nose and, moving his arms to her waist, kissed her again.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked this! Have a nice day!
> 
> Follow me on Twitter: solelymaria


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